


Even When I Lose I'm Winning

by louistumlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Genderswap, also narry as a side pairing, but it's not the focus so i didnt wanna tag, rugby au, v briefly and essentially for silly purposes only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 01:42:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louistumlinson/pseuds/louistumlinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>high school rugby au where Liam and Niall play rugby and Louis, Zayn and Harry are their best friends (biggest fans). Louis maybe likes watching Liam more than she likes watching rugby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even When I Lose I'm Winning

**Author's Note:**

> wow okay so first as always, huge thankyou to Anna for basically holding my hand through this whole thing and reading the dumb sections I sent her at 2am. love you. and thankyou to Sam for reading this through quick even though she doesn't read lilo :)  
> second: you don't have to know anything about rugby to read this fic so yeah!! you should probably definitely learn stuff about rugby though bc it is the best.  
> um this fic was called "i jsut wnat girsl ksisign and also rugby :((((((" for like 3 months so yeah. there's the fic. amazing.  
> oh also title borrowed from john legend's 'all of me' thanks mr. legend  
> ALSO i feel like i should clarify that as i have based this fic off of my own high school rugby knowledge this fic is set in canada so if youre alarmed by the lack of british things.. there you go

All Louis can think about is how sore her ass is. She’s not even entirely sure how she ended up here, it’s a bit of a confusing story. Harry’s new girlfriend Niall (who Louis still hasn’t met) is on the rugby team so Harry wanted to go watch but she didn’t want to go alone, so she invited Zayn who didn’t want to spend an hour and a half watching Harry watch Niall, so Louis got invited along as well.

Honestly, she wasn’t even aware the school _had_ a rugby team, and maybe the school didn’t know either or they would have put some bleachers up for this field so she didn’t have to sit on the hard ground. Not that Louis is above sitting through a bit of discomfort to watch sporty girls run around, it would just be nice to have a proper seat is all.

Zayn’s lying down with her head in Louis’ lap, but it’s doing nothing to keep Louis warm. March is too cold for outdoor sports, she thinks. It’s cold and windy and Louis’ ass hurts and she doesn’t even know Niall. She wants to leave.

As if she can sense Louis’ annoyance, Zayn opens her eyes only to narrow them, “We’re not leaving, don’t be stupid.”

Harry looks up from her phone with wide eyes, “No, Lou, come on! I want you to meet Niall afterwards, and you have to like her because I like her lots, okay?”Louis feels a smile tugging at her lips, “Alright, but you lot are gonna have to snuggle me proper, or I’ll freeze to death and your girl will never have the pleasure of my acquaintance.”

Harry immediately snuggles herself around Louis, cheeks slightly pink, while Zayn snorts before begrudgingly sitting up to lean into Louis’ side properly. Louis smiles and mentally congratulates herself on landing some excellent (and warm) best friends. Unfortunately, her friends are also easily distracted, so as soon as the team begins filing out of the locker room Harry rolls away from Louis, leaving her side exposed to the wind.

Before she can do more than frown, Harry is pointing excitedly at the field and talking faster than Louis’ heard her go in ages, “That’s Niall! Do you see her? She’s cute, right? Do you think she can see me? Should I wave?” She starts waving wildly before either Louis or Zayn can respond.

“Slow down Haz,” Zayn says with a bemused grin, watching as not one, but two girls wave back. One is small, with strands of blonde hair escaping her ponytail even though the game hasn’t started yet, the other is taller with a more athletic frame, her brown hair is braided neatly back. They’re both really pretty, they can’t possibly both be Harry’s, that would be catastrophically unfair.

“Harry, are you dating _two_ girls now? Do they know?”

“Niall’s the little blonde one,” Zayn explains, “They’re like ridiculous kittens together, Niall and Harry, Liam’s much too sensible to get involved. Just one girlfriend for young Harry.”

“Liam would be lucky to get involved! Same goes for you, Malik,” Harry chirps while her long fingers dance across her phone, probably sending a text to Niall. “Is there a rugby ball emoji?” Definitely texting Niall.

“Is it even called a rugby ball?” Louis asks, “It looks kind of like a dinosaur egg, maybe it’s called a rugby egg.”

“Just a ball, Lou.”

“Like you know any more about this sport than me, Zayn,” Louis scoffs.

“Shhh guys shut up, they’re starting!”

Louis exchanges a dubious glance with Zayn before addressing Harry, “There’s no announcers or anything Haz, what are you trying to hear, exactly?”

Harry whacks her on the arm without looking away from the field where all the girls are spread out in a strange staggered line, or something. She doesn’t know anything about rugby. Does anyone?

“Um, Harry?” Zayn starts, “Do you know anything about this sport? Because this is gonna be really confusing if you don’t.”

Harry’s eyebrows knit together in thought. “Well, Niall plays wing? Liam is a… forward?” She glances hopefully at her nonplussed friends, “Oh, shut up. I’m just learning!”

“Yeah Zayn, our Harry is more of a trophy girlfriend than a sport expert, don’t be so hard on her,” Louis teases.

Harry huffs indignantly, “I know _some_ stuff. Like, Niall’s supposed to run around on the far end and score goals and stuff.”

“Tries,” Zayn butts in, “not goals.”

“Well yes, she’s gonna _try_ to score goals-”

Zayn cuts Harry off with an exasperated groan, “If I know more than you do about this sport, you’re gonna have to get lessons before Niall finds out how sad you are.”

Louis latches on to Harry’s side and kisses her cheeks, “Harry’s so pretty she doesn’t need to know anything about sports for Niall to like her.”

“Stop objectifying me!” Harry shouts, squirming away from Louis, who is now trying to bite at her neck.

“Oi, cut it out. I think we’ve scored.” Zayn has apparently been paying attention to the game instead of Louis and Harry’s squabble. How rude of her.

Louis looks up and, brushing the hair out of her eyes, sees the opposing team in a sloppy sort of huddle under the uprights while Niall and the rest of her team have retreated past the half line. All except for a leggy brunette who is standing a few metres from the posts with the ball.

“Is number five there Niall’s friend? What’s she doing?”

“Yeah, that’s Liam! Oh, she must be the kicker. See, they’ve got to kick for extra points after a goal-try-thingy. Like in football, you know? But more points.” Harry’s looking proud of herself for remembering so much, so Louis nods even though she’s still a bit lost. No need to dampen Harry’s spirits just because rugby is confusing.

On the field, Liam takes a few steps back, winding up for the kick. The odd shaped ball flies through the air directly through the two posts.The smile on the girl’s face is enough to have  Louis cheering wildly along with the team and Harry, who’s clapping madly, curls whipping excitedly in the wind.

The rest of the game is a confusing blur, if Louis’ being honest. Harry doesn’t get any better at explaining what’s happening, and no matter how many times someone on the field yells “RUCK” Louis still doesn’t know what it means. She mostly tries to watch for Niall and Liam, so she can congratulate them honestly after the game. Even though she doesn’t know the purpose of the organized chaos, Louis thinks rugby is fun to watch. Zayn evidently does not share her opinion, because at some point her head ended up back in Louis’ lap, and she fell asleep.

Louis tugs at Zayn’s ear, “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. Time to meet the in-laws.”

“I’ve already met Niall,” she says blearily, “Harry knew I wouldn’t embarrass her. And Liam’s -”

“Is this true, Harry?” Louis demands, offended. She’s not embarrassing at all, in fact she is the opposite of embarrassing. Whatever the word for that is.

“No, no,” Harry soothes, glaring at Zayn and motioning for them to walk towards the field, “I only didn’t introduce you because I love you best and I didn’t want to make Niall jealous.”

Louis’ ruffles Harry’s hair, “You’re a shit liar H, but I appreciate the effort. I promise I’ll play nice.”

“You’re the best,” Harry kisses Louis on the cheek soundly.

“Why is my girlfriend kissing someone who isn’t me?” A voice asks from behind them, and no, Louis thinks, this isn’t going to work. If Harry’s girlfriend doesn’t understand their special brand of friendship, Louis doesn’t see this going well. She turns to face Niall and is met with an armful of sweaty girl.

“Just teasin’,” Niall pulls back from the hug to grin full force at Louis, “You must be Louis! I’ve heard lots about you.”

Louis takes in the wild haired ball of energy and decides immediately, “You give good hugs, Harry can keep you.”

Niall laughs, loud and bright, “Glad t’ hear it! Woulda been put out otherwise.”

Harry glares, “I am my own woman, Louis Tomlinson, I will keep Niall if I want to.”

“Am I not _my_ own woman?” Niall grins and leans into Harry’s side. She fits nicely into Harry and Louis wants to explode with how cute they are, so she makes a face instead.

“Louis,” Zayn interrupts, “This is Liam.” The “please be nice” is unspoken but Louis hears it loud and clear and sticks her tongue out at Zayn before directing her attention to the girl standing a bit awkwardly beside her. And she’s, well, her legs are nicer up close. And her face. Also nice, probably nicer up close. Louis thinks being polite to Liam won’t be too much of a problem.

“Hello Liam, I thought you were Harry’s second girlfriend for about a minute earlier today,” she grins and sticks out her hand, putting on her most dazzling smile. Zayn is rolling her eyes, but whatever, that wasn’t _mean_.

“Oh, um... I’m not?” Liam blushes and shakes Louis’ hand hesitantly.

“You sound much less sure than Harry did. Niall, you might want to look into this,” Louis winks. Niall laughs, Niall is a good sport. Louis likes Niall. Liam blushes some more, Louis thinks she likes making Liam blush.

“Liam, please don’t listen to anything Lou says, it’ll be easier for everyone.” Zayn slings her arm around Liam’s waist and Liam seems to relax. Louis narrows her eyes, that’s a bit friendly. Apparently Zayn has known Liam long enough to put her at ease instead of on edge, which is. Interesting. Louis would like to know how she managed that.

Harry claps her hands together, “Awesome! Now that everyone’s met Lou, we can all be best friends.”

Niall giggles, “Yeah, Li and I usually go get hot chocolate and stuff after games when it’s cold, you lot are invited now, obviously. Since we’re best friends and all.”

“I’m not sure I can go unless Liam says it’s okay,” Louis declares, glancing at a now confused Liam, “I’m sure she’s really in charge here Niall, don’t pretend.” Niall laughs, she’s always laughing. Louis definitely likes her. Probably why Harry likes her too, someone has to laugh at the poor girl’s bad jokes.

“Oh. Well,” Liam smiles, “I guess this is your formal invitation.”

“Wonderful, thank you dear Liam, knew I could count on you,” Louis grins and pinches Liam’s side lightly, grinning smugly when she jumps. “Now who’s driving?”

 

***

  
The five of them are huddled around a table, sipping on hot chocolate and laughing at the story Harry is muddling her way through. Well, laughing at Harry muddling through the story, really. Louis feels a lot closer to Liam and Niall after being smushed between them in the back seat of Harry’s tiny car. Niall was supposed to sit up front but she apparently takes the shotgun rule very seriously, so Zayn had the honour. Probably for the best, Louis thinks, Zayn was only good for cuddles on her own terms, and being in the middle of a smelly, sporty sandwich wouldn’t have put her in the best mood. Besides, Liam doesn’t seem as wary of her anymore, cuddles being a very effective way to build the bridge of friendship.

Louis’ a bit tired, she’s lost thread of the conversation and is just leaning on Zayn’s shoulder, trying not to stare at Liam’s lips. They’re just so pink, is the thing. And they’ve all been drinking hot chocolate so Liam’s lips are kind of shiny and she keeps _licking_ them and smiling and Louis - Louis is really tired. She should probably go home. Or nap. Zayn probably wouldn’t mind too much as long as she didn’t drool on her leather jacket. Louis lets her eyelids droop shut.

“Lou?” Zayn’s voice comes from above her. “Louis, did you hear Liam?”

“What? I. No.” Louis lifts her head from Zayn’s shoulder to find everyone staring at her.

“Lou, were you _sleeping_?” Niall giggles.

“Hey, my stories aren’t that boring,” Harry pouts.

“Of course not dear, your voice is very relaxing, is all.” Louis is too tired to tease properly.

“I guess you won’t have a problem with us going, then?” Liam asks. “I’ve got an English test tomorrow and I want to look over stuff a bit before bed, that’s all I said when you were napping.”

“ _Dozing_ ,” Louis insists, “Drooling a bit on Z’s shoulder hardly qualifies as a proper nap.” Zayn huffs and shoves her away, inspecting her jacket. “I think I’ve got a test tomorrow too, actually.” Louis narrows her eyes in thought, “Wait, are we in the same English class?”

Zayn sighs, “Yes Lou, I was trying to tell you earlier. S’how I know Liam, I usually sit with her since you can’t be bothered to show up on time, or hardly at all.”

“If they really wanted me in English, it would not be the first two periods of the day,” Louis reasons. “Plus, you should clearly be thanking me.” Zayn raises a perfect eyebrow. “Thanks to my lack of attendance, you have made a lasting bond of friendship with dear Liam. You can both send me cards in the mail.”

“Yes I’ll be sure to do that as soon as I’ve finished studying tonight, thanks Louis.” Apparently Liam can joke as well as blush at Louis’, which is always nice.

“Might as well skip straight to my card, you don’t need to _study,_ just stick your notes under your pillow while you sleep.” Louis’ genius is met with three blank stares and an eyeroll from Zayn.

“I reiterate, don’t listen to anything Lou says.”

Louis crosses her arms, “I’ll have you know it works like a charm! It’s science, you know? Osmosis. The knowledge soaks into your brain while you sleep.” Everyone bursts out laughing. Whatever, they can think what they want, she’s still going to get a good mark on the test tomorrow. This has been working for Louis for years.

“Harry,” Zayn chokes out between a laugh, “Has Louis been coming to Bio lately?”

Harry giggles and leans across the table to poke at Louis’ arm, “Yes, but I think she must be _dozing_ through that too. Hasn’t quite grasped the concept of osmosis.”

Louis sniffs, “Say what you want dickheads, but I’m passing my classes.”

“I dunno,” Liam grins, “Maybe I’ll give that a try tonight, Lou. ‘M a bit tired to look through notes on Macbeth anyways.”

“You’re officially my favourite, Liam. No getting out of it now.” Louis turns to bump her head gently into Liam’s arm. Much to her satisfaction, Liam’s cheeks go a bit pink while she grins crinkly-eyed down at Louis. She’s still a bit too drowsy to be worried about the butterflies that smile causes in her stomach, but not too drowsy to decide she wants to keep Liam smiling at her like that as much as possible. Liam might be her favourite for a while, Louis thinks.

  
***

  
It’s like Louis blinks and Niall and Liam have been sewn seamlessly into their group. She didn’t think that she, Harry, and Zayn were missing anything, but the group wouldn’t seem whole anymore without Niall’s sharp giggle or Liam’s crinkly-eyed grin. So three turns to five, and Louis’ sure she’s never been happier.

Louis goes from not knowing there was a rugby team to painting the number five on her face twice a week and taking turns driving to away games. She can’t remember what she did on Wednesday afternoons before she was enlisted to dump heaps of glitter onto Harry’s poster for Niall that reads “11 on the field #1 in our hearts”. Even Zayn gets into it, trying to help Louis convince Liam to let them make shirts that say “Payne Train” to wear to the games. (“No.” “Li, come on.” “ _No.”_ “It’s like a superhero name! The people will love it!” “Not happening, Tommo.”) Every game ends in a (slightly smelly) group hug initiated by Niall declaring she has “the best friends in the world” and pulling them all in.

Louis’ rugby knowledge hasn’t increased by a lot, but she’s gotten great at picking Liam out from the chaos. She had to learn this quickly so she could see the wide smile on Liam’s face when Louis yells “GET HER PAYNO” after a particularly solid tackle. It seems a bit odd that a girl who blushes whenever Louis pinches her side or bites her neck can knock girls to the ground without a single worry, but Louis is working on it.

Besides cuddling more with Liam, Louis is trying to work on knowing stuff about rugby, too. She figures if she’s gonna be watching it twice a week and two of her best friends are on the team, she should at least understand the mess a little. Luckily, said two best friends are very helpful. Unluckily, they believe in hands on experience, and it’s still fairly cold outside.

“Why do I even have to learn this? I wanted to know why you do things, not _how._ I’m not a recruit, you two. Besides, I could knock people over if I wanted to,” Louis whines, tugging her beanie over her ears.

“Oh Louis,” Niall says, sounding as wise as she can manage, “it’s not _knocking people over_ , there’s a technique to it. Very complex stuff.”

“And what would a back know about tackling?” Liam teases.

Niall growls - actually growls. Rugby players, honestly - and tackles Liam to the ground. Louis supposes she may have seen Niall’s arms wrap around Liam’s thighs before the actual knocking over happened, but she wouldn’t call that _technique_. Louis could wrap her arms around Liam and it wouldn’t be called technique, it would be a hug or a snuggle. Liam and Niall are now rolling around on the ground, having a bit of a tickle fight if Niall’s shrieking laughter is anything to go by.

“Alright, alright. Cut it out you barbarians,” Louis says, feeling rather ignored. “You didn’t have to invite me under the pretense of a lesson if you just wanted to grope each other a bit.”

“That’s not-” Liam splutters.

“We didn’t invite just you, Queen Louis. Harry and Zayn are here too,” Niall points out. And well, she’s right, but the other girls are sitting down, sharing headphones and flipping through Zayn’s sketchbook. Not being nearly as good of friends as Louis, that’s for sure.

“Unimportant,” Louis says, “Teach me rugby things now, loyal subjects.”

“Well, experience is the best teacher, yeah? So just stand right there Tommo, I’ll show you how it’s done.”

“No, wait. I want Liam to do it,” Louis says, mouth moving faster than her brain.

“This isn’t because I’m a back, is it? Because Liam is spreading lies, I can tackle just as well as anyone,” Niall huffs.

“Of course not Niall, I have the utmost confidence in you, you are a star,” Louis backtracks. She doesn’t want Niall to be upset, she just wants Liam to... tackle her? Pay attention to her? Both, really.

“So why do you want Li to show you instead of me?” Niall raises a fair point. Louis really needs to think before she blurts things out.

“Well,” Louis starts, waiting for something clever to come to her, “That’s because Liam is...”

Liam does a funny thing with her eyebrows, “What am I?”

“Liam is strong and noble,” Louis simpers, going for joking but landing closer to sincere, “And _perfect_ and-”

Liam snorts and tackles Louis to the ground. “Have you quite finished?” She mocks.

Louis smiles up at Liam, “Warm. You’re very warm Payno, please stay right here until I’ve warmed up properly. This was the plan all along, you’re loads better at protecting me from the cold than Niall.

Liam lifts herself up slightly and tucks her hair behind her ear, “You wouldn’t be cold if you played with us like you’re supposed to instead of running your mouth.”

Louis thinks about wiggling her eyebrows and saying _“I’d like to be running my mouth against yours”_ but she’s not sure that even makes sense or that it would come off as a joke, so she just goes with, “I never do what I’m supposed to” and a smirk. Liam is tucking her hair behind her ear and standing up instead of leaning in and that’s not what Louis wants at all.

“No, come back,” she moans, making grabby hands in the air at Liam, “I was learning so much.”

Niall snorts, “Yes, so much learning was happening there.”

  
***

  
“So,” Zayn says in the car, “Do we need to talk about this?”

“About what? The increasing silliness of Harry’s headgear? You reckon it’s time for an intervention?”

Zayn ignores her. “About Liam.”

Louis grips the steering wheel tighter. “What about her?”

“Oh, I don’t know Louis, how about we start with the flirting you were doing today?”

“Don’t be a twat, Zayn, I flirt with everyone. I’m _charming_ ,” Louis insists. Zayn is not doing this right now. Louis has been trying her best to not think about why she wants to spend so much time with Liam, why the highlight of her day is Liam saying something a bit snarky, why when she tells a joke she looks to Liam for her reaction first. But trust Zayn to bring up what Louis has already decided to never discuss.

“Louis, I’ve known you for years and you weren’t just teasing, or whatever.” Zayn’s staring at Louis like she knows something. Louis hates it. “Lou, you called her warm _. Twice_.”

“I didn’t offer you a ride home so we could talk about my feelings.”

“ _Louis_.”

“What, Zayn? What do you want me to say? That I’ve got a big stupid crush on Liam? Fine. Whatever.” The approaching traffic light turns from yellow to red. Louis can feel her heart pounding.

“It’s like, fine, you know? Liam’s great.” The light goes green. Louis steps on the gas. They’re not far from Zayn’s house now, thank God. She’s not having this conversation right now. Or ever, preferably.

“Yup,” Louis says. She makes the turn onto Zayn’s street.

“You’re great too, you know?” Zayn is staring at her all sincerely and Louis can’t handle this tonight.

“Zayn.”

Zayn makes a frustrated noise, “No Louis, listen. Don’t not go for this because you think you don’t deserve it, or whatever this is that you’re doing. That you always do.”

“Oh look, here we are. It’s your house.”

“Lou.”

“Bye Zayn, I’ll see you on Monday.”

“I’ll text you,” Zayn promises, getting out of the car. God, can Zayn ever make a simple sentiment sound like a threat. Louis resists the urge to bang her head against the steering wheel, takes a breath, and drives home.

 

***

  
Louis is Not Thinking About Liam. She is lying in bed, really trying to sleep, and if she could get the way Liam tucks her hair behind her ear when she’s nervous out of her head, that would be great. Louis is going to kill Zayn. Everything was going fine before Zayn decided Louis should talk about things instead of burying them under a pile of jokes. It doesn’t even matter because she’s Not Thinking About It. “It” being how Liam laughs at all of Louis’ jokes even when they’re not that great. Or how her cheeks still turn pink when Louis bites her, even though she’s stopped flinching. Or the way Louis seems to fit really nicely into Liam’s side for cuddles. How Liam seems to like cuddling Louis now, just lifts her arm automatically when Louis sits on the couch. Liam is so thoughtful. And wonderful. And pretty.

And shit, maybe she does have a big stupid crush on Liam. This is going to ruin everything. How are they supposed to snuggle or joke around if Liam thinks Louis’ being weird about things? Louis wonders if she can smother herself with her pillow.

  
***

  
Louis wakes up the next morning to a text from Zayn that says **_sorry babe x_** and three texts from Harry. So Zayn told Harry about Louis maybe kind of liking Liam a lot, then. Great. Louis huffs out a breath, blowing the hair up off of her face, it’s not that she’s _mad_ about Harry knowing, it’s just. Harry’s different about this stuff than Zayn is. Sure, Zayn will try to get Louis to admit things to herself, but she won’t interfere. Harry, on the other hand, fancies herself a matchmaker and is never going to let this go. She grabs her phone from where she tossed it down after reading Zayn’s text and sure enough, Harry is a bit too excited.

**_LOU!!!!!!_ **

**_i’m so happy we can go on double dates this is gonna be so fun!!_ **

**_cant believe u didnt tell me u liked li >:(  its cool tho z said this is new info xx_ **

Louis sighs. That’s practically all she’s done this morning. **_she doesnt even like girls that much i bet . its whatever ._** It’s a weak excuse but Louis does not want to talk about it. Liam not liking girls as much as she does boys is better than Liam just not liking Louis.

**_nooo lou shhh no im positive she had a gf last year i can ask ni if u want?? x_ **

Before Louis can type out a vehement **_PLS DO NOT_** Harry has already texted again.

**_Niall says yeah and if she likes girls she loves u obviously ur the best girl xxxx_ **

Do all of her friends think she has some sort of self-depreciating complex? Just because Louis’ positive Liam does not want to kiss her or date her does not mean Louis hates herself. Louis knows she’s great, it’s just. Liam is really great, and not the same kind of great as Louis. Not compatible greats at all. Liam is sweet and thoughtful and hardworking and so _so_ earnest it hurts to think about. Louis is the type of great you get tired of after a little bit. She’s good for a laugh and a cuddle but like, so are lots of people.

**_loUIS i can sense u overthinking this cut it out boo_ **

Louis rolls her eyes. **_harry u dont have psychic powers dressing like a hippie fortune teller does not make u one .  also im not overthinking anything . nothing to even overthink about_**

**_heyyy dont think i cant SENSE u changing the subject >:( louuuu she likes u okay?_ **

**_yeah like as a friend . its fine._** It’s fine. Louis has accepted this, now Harry just has to do the same.

**_lou NO she like likes you so what are we gonna do about it??_ **

**_WE arent going to do anything no one is going to do anything everything is normal and nothing has changed harry she doesnt like me its fine i’ll get over it_ **

**_louis you havent even asked stop doING this youre being dumb_ **

**_harry i love u but seriously let it go babe im fine and really dont say anything abt this okay_ **

**_> :(((((((( love u but >:((_ **

Talking to Harry in the morning is exhausting enough without bringing feelings Louis is already working on burying away into the conversation. Her phone buzzes once more as she goes to put it down.

“Christ Harry, let it go,” she mutters. But it’s not Harry.

**_louuuuuu hey do u wannna hang tmrow? plsss toss a ball around w me for a bit itll be fuuuuunn plus i wnna work on some stuff sooo_ **

**_text me backk dont fall asleep bfore u answer meee lazyy girl_ **

Everything is normal and nothing has changed. Louis massages her temples.

**_yeah sure but ur buying me a milkshake or something after im not ur free rugby test monkey_ **

Milkshake demands are something Louis makes normally. This is not a milkshake date. This is definitely normal behaviour. Christ, she needs to relax or Liam’s going to know something is up tomorrow, and then who will buy Louis milkshakes in a purely platonic manner? Harry, Zayn or Niall probably, but Louis doesn’t want them to. She wants Liam to buy her milkshakes and smile at her and make a grossed out face when Louis dips her fries in it, and then laugh and try it anyways.This may be harder than expected.

**_haha deeal see u at 3 ya??_ **

Louis sighs, defeated. **_yup i’ll see u and my milkshake tomorrow_**

Not like there was ever any hope of her saying no to Liam. It would’ve resulted in a snapchat of Liam making puppy eyes, and that is not a road Louis is interested in going down this morning. Louis’ still mad at Harry for tipping Liam off on her puppy eyes weakness, how is she supposed to seem superior to everyone if Harry keeps telling people how to manipulate her?

**_fries to right? weirdoooo hahah_ **

Louis is going back to sleep.

  
***

  
“You play _what?_ ”

“Lock. That’s the name of my position,” Liam explains, spinning the ball back to Louis.

Louis catches the ball and is torn between smiling proudly and frowning in confusion. “Thought you were a forward.” Liam rolls her eyes a little exasperatedly and Louis knows she’s mixed up pieces of Important Rugby Information and is about to get set straight.

“Louis, I’ve told you a thousand times, the team is split up into forwards and backs, and there’s different positions after that. Like wing or fullback or lock. Now toss the ball back, I can’t work on my passes if you’re hogging the ball.” Liam’s trying to sound annoyed, but there’s a little smile on her face and Louis knows how much she loves explaining rugby.

A thought occurs to Louis and she giggles, “Wait, so you play lock and forward? Those are your official titles?”

“Yes,” Liam furrows her brow, “I’m not seeing the joke here, you’re gonna have to let me in on it, Tommo.”

“It’s just, do you use those as lines?” Liam’s face is blank so Louis explains further, “You know, to pick up girls. Like _I hate to be forward with you, but would you go out with me?”_

“Louis,” Liam groans, shaking her head. She’s smiling though, which Louis takes as a sign to keep going. It’s not that Louis usually thinks about how Liam picks up girls, it’s just. Alright, she thinks about it a little. Mostly to make jokes though.

“Do you like, slide up to cute girls and say _you’re so pretty you’ve got my heart on lock?”_ Louis is laughing shamelessly at her own terrible jokes now, and Liam has joined in.

“That doesn’t even make sense Louis, those are terrible lines. Did you get those from Harry? I would never.”

“Oh, so you’re saying you have better lines?” Louis challenges, “Let’s hear ‘em then.”

Liam blushes, “Lou, come on.”

“No _you_ come on. Seduce me Liam, I’m waiting,” Louis smirks while hoping her internal panic isn’t showing on her face. This is maybe not her best idea.

“You’re being stupid,” Liam crosses her arms and bites her lip.

“That’s a _terrible_ line, Liam. You’ll never get anyone, talking like that. _You’re_ being stupid.” Louis is grinning now, teasing Liam is fun and safe.

“Stupid for you,” Liam shoots back. There’s a beat of silence before they both burst out laughing. “Oh god,” Liam giggles, “I didn’t say that. I did not.”

“You did,” Louis crows, “I can’t believe this, but you did. I know how you pick up girls now, Liam Payne, it’s by being pathetically endearing.”

Liam grins mischievously and Louis’ stomach flips. She knows that look because it first showed up on Liam’s face when Louis recruited her to prank Zayn. She used to think she liked that look on Liam’s face, but now, having it directed at her, Louis’ feeling a bit nervous.

“I’ll have you know,” Liam says, stepping into Louis’ space, “I could pick a girl up anytime I wanted.”

Louis’ throat goes dry, “Is that so?”

“Yup.” Before Louis can process what’s happening, she’s being hoisted into the air with Liam’s arms wrapped snugly around her middle. “You’re definitely the easiest girl to pick up, tiny little Lou.”

Liam is laughing but Louis can barely hear over the sound of her heart pounding and her stomach squirming.

Liam puts her down and unwraps her arms from Louis’ waist. Louis opens her mouth to say something, but closes it when she can’t think of anything other than “ _kiss me”._

Liam seems to take the silence as Louis being offended because her eyes quickly widen and she steps even closer, putting her hand on Louis’ waist again. “Oh Louis, don’t be mad. I like that you’re small! Fun sized or something, yeah?”

“Shut up,” Louis retorts, but it lacks heat. Now Liam’s got her thinking about their height difference and how Louis fits perfectly under Liam’s arm and fuck, she’s in too deep.

Louis takes a deep breath and a step back from Liam. “I think I’m going to skip out on milkshakes today, I should go home.”

Liam’s face falls, “Are you sure? We can just go pick them up, we don’t have to drink them there if you don’t want.”

“No, I’m not feeling that good, actually,” Louis says. It’s not really a lie, her stomach feels fairly queasy. “Think I’ll just go right home.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll talk to you later then?” Liam looks confused and it’s making Louis feel worse and she really needs to leave.

“Yeah, see you at school or something.” She waves awkwardly and starts walking to her car. Liam calls out a thanks for coming or something stupid and polite and _Liam._ Louis walks a bit quicker.

  
***

  
Louis is sitting with Zayn next to the rugby field waiting for Harry to show up. They’re here to watch Niall and Liam’s game, and Louis is possibly a bit nervous. For one, Niall had been going on constantly about how they were going to be playing the best team in the league, and how if they wanted to remain undefeated they would have to step things up. Louis really wants her friends to win. Also, Liam hadn’t really talked to her all week, or rather she hadn’t talked much to Liam, so Louis was a bit worried Liam might chuck the ball at her head when she shows up. Or frown at her. Equally terrible outcomes in Louis’ opinion.

Liam doesn’t throw anything at Louis, and she doesn’t frown either. Not at Louis anyways, but her usual game smile was nowhere to be found and Louis can’t decide if that’s because the game didn’t go well, or the reason it didn’t go well.

They lost. Louis is frustrated and she imagines Liam and Niall feel even worse. It’s just that they were so _close_. They were up by two points and the game was almost over but then the opposing team broke through and scored a last minute try. Louis feels robbed and she feels like shouting rude things at the horrible nasty girl who ran straight through Louis’ girls.

The dark scowl on Liam’s face suggests that she’s taken the loss a lot worse than Niall, who is holding Harry’s hand and chatting pleasantly to some girl off of the other team she apparently knows. Not even a tough loss can phase Niall, it seems. Louis looks back at Liam and wishes she would pick up tips from Niall on coping with these things.

“You played good,” Louis offers when Liam drops her bag down beside her.

“Not really,” Liam says shortly, slumping down on the ground.

Louis frowns. “What are you talking about, you made like, fifty-eight tackles. At least.”

Liam’s jaw clenches tightly and she stares stonily at the ground, not looking at Louis when she mutters, “I missed the tackle that mattered, though.”

Louis is at a loss. If it was Harry sitting moodily in front of her, Louis would just tickle her and make jokes until Harry cheered up and stopped worrying about what was bothering her. If it was Zayn, Louis would cuddle her and invite her over for a movie, which they would watch in comfortable silence until Zayn decided she wanted to talk. Liam in a bad mood, however, is uncharted territory. Liam is always so warm and strong and Louis isn’t sure how to take care of someone who’s always busy taking care of everyone else.

“It’s not your fault, Li.” Seems like a good way to start.

Liam makes a strangled noise, “I could’ve ran faster and made the tackle. She shouldn’t have scored. It _is_ my fault.”

Louis scoots over and puts her hand on Liam’s thigh. “Liam, you’ve got fourteen other teammates on the field, you don’t have to do everything, you know.”

“I know,” Liam huffs, but she still looks upset and Louis thinks Liam - Liam who is always doing things for everyone else and putting so much responsibility on her own shoulders - doesn’t really know at all.

“Look, I know you’re upset but Liam, you can’t do everything, okay?” Liam doesn’t say anything so Louis nudges her side gently. “Rugby is a team sport babe, you’re not supposed to do everything.”

“Sometimes I wish I could,” Liam whispers, and even though Louis knows she’s being serious she laughs a little.

“Even superheroes have sidekicks, yeah? Or at least a cool superhero team to back them up.”

Now Liam laughs quietly, “That’s true I guess.”

“And sometimes they mess up, right? Aliens destroy New York, but they’re still superheroes and they’re still awesome and they save the day the next time and their friends still love them.” Louis has possibly let this analogy get away from her, but Liam is smiling now so she figures it’s alright.

“So you’re saying I’m a superhero, then?” Liam grins.

“Of course, I’ll even be your sidekick if you want.”

“I reckon we’re more of an equal superhero team,” Liam says softly, “To balance each other out, yeah?”

“I’m the cooler superhero though,” Louis declares, valiantly trying to ignore the warmth blooming in her chest.

“Of course,” Liam snorts.

Louis rests her head on Liam’s shoulder and smiles happily. Liam isn’t sad anymore and yeah, they’d probably make a pretty good superhero team.

“Thought you were mad at me.” Liam phrases it like a question, voice turning up on the last word.

“Nah,” is all Louis says. She can explain herself some other time, for now she’s happy with how things are.

  
***

Niall’s basement is perfect for getting a bit drunk on a Friday night. There are two squishy couches, nice without being nice enough to make Louis afraid of spilling on them, the lights aren’t too bright, and Niall’s got great speakers to plug her phone into for music. Most importantly, her parents are out of town for the night.

Louis is lying with her feet in Zayn’s lap and a fruity cooler of Harry’s in her hand, feeling warm and pleasantly buzzed. Zayn’s eyes are closed, she’s possibly contemplating the mysteries of the universe, but probably sleeping. Niall and Harry are lying on the floor with their legs tangled together. Harry’s either telling Niall something very secret or kissing her face, it’s always hard to tell with Harry. Liam’s on Zayn’s other side, her knees are pulled to her chest and the bottle Louis handed her when she came down is on the side table, only about a quarter empty.

Liam says she doesn’t like to drink during season. Or she doesn’t drink much because of a kidney problem? Both maybe? Louis can’t really remember, she can usually remember things about Liam but she’s a bit fuzzy, probably had one too many to drink. Whatever. The point is that instead of drinking like a reasonable teenager, Liam is chewing on her lip and staring at whatever’s playing on Niall’s TV. Louis would check but she’s too busying observing how long it takes for Liam’s bottom lip to go from distractingly pink to obscenely so. All about the research, Louis is.

Her observations are interrupted by Zayn’s pointed, “Get a room,” Which is met only by giggles from the guilty parties. “Honestly Niall, would it really kill you to touch Harry’s boobs in a more private setting?”

“Can you even see?” Harry asks a bit sadly, “They’re so small I’m surprised you could see Niall touching them at all.”

“Haz, what the hell are you-” Louis starts incredulously.

“My boobs,” Harry moans, “Don’t laugh at me Louis! You have the biggest boobs out of all of us, you don’t know my pain.”

“It’s true,” Zayn adds helpfully, “Boob privilege.”

“Yes, our beautiful, curvy Lou,” Niall blows a kiss. Louis scowls.

“What use are my big boobs if your small ones are getting more attention? My boobs are _lonely_ ,” She flumps down in despair.

“Awww, Lou.”

“I’ll touch your boobs, babe.”

“Yeah come on, you know we love you.”

Louis waves her hand dismissively, “Your titty pity means nothing to me.”

Niall guffaws, “What the fuck, Lou?’

Harry has rolled away from Niall in a fit of giggles, whispering what sounds like “titty pity” to herself every few bursts. Zayn is laughing at Louis unabashedly while Liam has her hands over her face, shaking her head.

“You’re ridiculous, Louis.”

“Now hang on a minute Liam Payne, are you trying to tell me your average sized boobs never get a bit lonely?” Louis crosses her arms accusingly.

Liam splutters as Zayn tugs on a strip of Louis’ hair and hisses into her ear, “Louis is this really what you want to do right now?”

“Lou,” Harry cuts in now that her laughter has subsided, “ _Average_ is not a nice thing to say about a friend’s boobs. Liam’s are perfectly wonderful.”

Liam’s hands have made their way to her face once more. “Oh god,” she moans, “I thought I was getting used to this, but you all keep getting weirder.”

Louis crawls over Zayn to drape herself comfortingly over Liam. “Don’t worry babe, you’ll get there. You can touch my boobs of you think it will help? We could have a mutually beneficial sort of thing?”

Liam looks uncomfortable and Louis _hates_ that. She doesn’t want to make Liam uncomfortable she wants Liam to laugh at all of her jokes and cuddle her and crinkle her eyes every time she smiles at Louis. Louis decides to crawl into Liam’s lap, if they touch enough surely Liam will stop looking like she wants to run away. She hooks her arms behind Liam’s neck and tugs gently on her ponytail.

Louis’ face is really close to Liam’s face and wow observation, Liam’s lips have gotten extremely pink. Distractingly so. Louis wants to -

“Lou,” Liam’s bright lips are moving now, “You’re. You’re a bit drunk and tired, you shouldn’t -”

Louis jolts out of her Liam reverie and realizes what she’s been doing. She pushes herself off of Liam’s - Liam who doesn’t want her - lap and says loudly, “Whatever.” Because it doesn’t matter, Liam doesn’t have to want to kiss Louis, it’s not a big deal. “I didn’t want you to anyways. In fact, I would much rather have Zayn touch my boobs. Or Harry. Or Niall. Don’t need you at all.”

That’s maybe a bit of a giant lie, but Liam doesn’t have to know. It’s not like she cares anyways so there’s really no harm done. To Liam anyways, Louis is a bit upset. Mostly at herself. She shouldn’t have started playing this game when she knew Liam didn’t like her and she knew how things would end.

That’s not to say she’s not a bit upset with Liam, so she makes sure to laugh loudly at whatever it is Niall and Harry are doing, just to make sure Liam knows Louis really super doesn’t care.

Harry is shrieking so loudly for Niall to stop tickling her that Louis almost doesn’t hear when Liam says she’s going to go home. Niall does though, even tries to convince Liam to stay for longer but it’s no use, Liam leaves without even looking at Louis once. Which is fine. Louis really super doesn’t care. Whatever.

Harry kicks Louis at the same time Zayn jabs her in the side and hisses, “You’re a dick.”

Louis rubs at her shin and says, “Liam’s the one who just left.” Because she is.

“You’re the one who tried to kiss her in front of all of us while drunk, though,” Harry points out. Louis supposes that’s true. She groans. Maybe this is her fault and maybe does care and ugh. Feelings are stupid and drinking is stupid, also her. Louis is stupid.

  
  
***

  
 **_hey li sry abt last night we’re good yeah?_ **

**_liiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaammmmmm_ **

**_are u there_ **

**_come on liam i said sorry_ **

**_I WAS BEING A DICK_ **

**_u can punch me or tackle me or whatever it is u rugby people do_ **

**_liam_ **

**_are u doing this on purpose_ **

**_god liam im sorry really u dont have to touch my boobs ever if u dont want to_ **

**_i was being stupid ._ **

**_pls talk to me_ **

**_or like pass a message on through z telling me if youR ALIVE_ **

Twelve. Louis has texted Liam twelve times this weekend and has received no response. Not even a simple _go to hell_ or _leave me alone_. Louis may or may not be going crazy. It’s been two days since Louis royally messed up and she hasn’t gone this long without some form of communication with Liam since they met. She hates this. She types out **_im sorry its just ur so fukcing pretty and nice and funny i think less than usual when ur around and i was driinking dont be mad liam please_** and deletes it. Liam should text her back before she does something stupid. Again.

  
***

Things do not get fixed at school that week. Liam does a spectacular job at avoiding Louis all day, both Monday and Tuesday, even disappearing during lunch. She doesn’t show up to English on time, foiling Louis’ plan to actually show up to the class and sit next to her in order to talk things out. If she wasn’t so upset, Louis would be impressed with Liam’s cleverness.

All Louis wants is to be friends with Liam. Well, okay she maybe sometimes wants a bit more, but just friends is better than _this_. She’s never drinking around Liam again. Or doing anything around Liam at all if this keeps up. Fuck.

Wednesday is the fifth day of Liam avoiding her, and Louis caves after lunch. She sends out a group text during her free block.

**_help_ **

**_i’m an idiot_ **

  
Niall responds first with **_we love ya anyways_**

Zayn’s is a much less pleasant **_yes and?_**

Harry is the only helpful one, quickly replying **_I HAVE A PLAN! EVERYTHING WILL BE OK!!!!!_**

 

***

  
Harry’s plan turns out to be terrible. She wanted Louis to go to the game tonight with a giant sign that said “I LOVE LIAM” which would be. Ridiculous. Harry is insane. Supposedly, Liam  would see the sign, rush off the field and carry Louis off into the sunset, but Louis figures the chances of that happening are not high. So she takes Zayn and Niall’s more reasonable advice, and goes to the game - without a sign - with the plan to apologize to Liam for everything afterwards. Technically, Niall had advised Louis to apologize and then kiss Liam’s face off, but Louis’ not going to count on that actually happening either.

Louis is on edge the whole game. She wants it to be over so Niall can herd Liam over to her, but she also wants the game to never end so she never has to talk to Liam ever. The trouble is, Louis does want to talk to Liam, and also rugby games always end, this one not being an exception.  She’s not even sure if they won or lost, which she would feel bad about if she wasn’t so worried about this stupid not-plan. She should’ve made a sign.

She didn’t make a sign though, so Louis wanders over to the locker room buildings and leans up against the wall, waiting for Niall to bring Liam over. Hopefully Liam actually shows up, Louis’ got no idea what she would do if she didn’t. Oh god, what if Niall shows up just to tell her that Liam never wants to see her again, or that she’s decided to move to Saskatchewan or somewhere equally stupid? Louis pulls out her phone to see if Niall’s texted her.

There’s no notifications and Louis feels like melting into the ground but then she hears footsteps and she glances up to see Niall with her hand clamped around Liam’s arm, tugging her into the space between the two buildings.

“Tommo,” Niall exclaims exaggeratedly, “Fancy seeing you here, eh?” Louis would roll her eyes but she doesn’t have time to do so while she’s staring nervously at Liam, trying to gather her thoughts. Barely any time has passed and Niall is already slipping away sneakily.

“Yeah, um.” Louis needs more time. She can’t do this. “Here we are.” Liam starts backing away slowly and shit, she has to do this.

“I’m sorry,” she says. It’s rushed and too quiet, but Liam stops. She says it again.

“You don’t have to be, I -” Liam starts, but Louis really does need to be sorry, no matter how nice Liam is being about it.

“Shut up. I’m not - I have more to say.” She winces internally at her words but she needs Liam to listen to her and not leave before she’s explained herself.

“You’re terrible at apologizing,” Liam says. Louis can’t argue with that, but at least she’s trying.

“I know,” she sighs, brushing her hair off her face nervously. “I’ve been pretty shit at a lot of things lately, though,” she admits. “I am sorry, I swear.” Liam doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t run away or kick Louis in the shin either, so she draws in a  breath and takes the plunge, “I just. I like you so much it scrambles my brain sometimes, you know?”

Liam is still not moving and Louis laughs hollowly, “Of course you know though, I’ve been such an idiot around you lately and I’m sorry. Just because I’ve got some stupid crush on you doesn’t mean I get to be an ass to one of my best friends.”

“You’re so stupid.” Oh. Louis thought getting things off your chest was supposed to fix things and make you feel better, but Liam is making her feel a lot like garbage right now. She stares down at her feet and crosses her arms, maybe she’ll disappear.

“No, shit,” Liam is talking again. She sounds a bit panicked. “I’m stupid too, yeah?”

“What _do_ you mean?” Louis asks carefully. Her heart seems to have stopped beating.

“I’ve got some stupid crush on you too, so.”

“Oh.” This is. Not how Louis thought this would go.

“Yeah,” Liam smiles. Her eyes are crinkled up cutely and this is much better than how she thought things would go.

“So stupid,” Louis grins, it all seems a lot funnier now. Now that she knows she can move in close to Liam.

“You’re stupid.” Louis feels Liam’s words on her lips, and thank god she has the good sense to go the rest of the way and kiss Liam before she can say something ridiculous like _“yeah, stupid for you."_


End file.
